What Your Favorite Batman Villain Says About You

Of all the DC heroes, Batman has the best villains and I will not hear otherwise. Seriously. Brainiac can suck it.

The below personality descriptions assume that you grew up with and identify most strongly with the Batman: Animated Series or Arkham Asylum/City versions of these iconic characters (because those are the best versions, obviously, and the New 52 is really not my thing at all), and that you’ve chosen your favorite rogue because you’ve connected with the character’s distinct personality and not because “she’s hot” or “he’s funny” (because if that’s the case, then might I direct you to the description for Solomon Grundy, which I believe will probably fit you the best).

Now let’s begin, shall we?

Batman-Rogues

Photo Credit: Panels on Page

 

Riddler: Generally the life of the party, you relish any and all attention you get as long as it is overwhelmingly positive. Maybe let someone else talk once in a while.

Harley Quinn: Aren’t you a brilliant beacon of deluded optimism? Life is difficult now, but all you need is that one thing to go right and then everything will be perfect. Keep telling yourself that until you die.

Poison Ivy: You probably overuse the term “misandrist” to describe yourself. It started out as an ironic thing, like when people say “LOL” or “totes” out loud in conversation, but now you’re starting to think you really mean it.

Ra’s Al Ghul: You’re probably a member of Anonymous. Don’t be proud of that.

Joker: You have a fondness for the Classics — whiskey sours, Casablanca, that sort of thing. You’re also much less interested in the villain of a story than you are in how the hero reacts to that villain. Whatever, man, I don’t know. The Joker’s such a nebulous character that you could be anybody.

Clayface: You probably are anybody. You contain a lot of multitudes.

Bane: You are a very direct person. None of this beating around the bush — you have a problem, you fix it. Doesn’t mean you can’t meticulously “solve” your way out of it, but why waste time?

Solomon Grundy: Reading is hard! Feelings are confusing! Crush things!

Two Face: You have a lot of habits you just can’t seem to break, and you’re also very indecisive. Everyone knows this about you, but somehow you still get put in charge of picking which restaurant we eat at.

The Mad Hatter: You believe the friend zone is a real place and that you live there.

Joe Chill: You’re a wise-ass.

Catwoman: You are fiercely independent, except when it comes to cats. You will not leave cats alone. When you’re at a party and you see the host’s cat, you will follow it around without talking to anyone else, because cats.

Calendar Man: You really enjoy explaining things to people.

Man-Bat: You really enjoy explaining things to people ironically.

The Penguin: You often feel like you’re the only sane person in the room. That’s because you’re a little self-involved, but that’s okay. It works for you. 

Hugo Strange: You like to spoil your friends’ favorite movies and television shows for them by guessing the endings in advance. The worst part is that you’re usually right.

Mr. Freeze: Remember those commercials with the Sarah McLaughlin music that plays over pictures of sad puppies in cages? You love those. You just get those puppies so much, right down to their sad puppy souls.

Killer Croc: There’s a weird part of you, deep in your subconscious, that wonders how those Sarah McLaughlin puppies taste. Like, every time. Just a little bit.

Scarecrow: One night when you were much too young, your uncle let you watch The Shining when he was babysitting you. You have not slept comfortably since.

Victor Zsasz: Nope! Nope. I will cross the street to avoid you on sight.

 

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One thought on “What Your Favorite Batman Villain Says About You

  1. Loved your demolition of the ICP tv show – thought I’d look for more of your writing and was very pleased by this post. Think you’re right about the appeal of Joker being how nebulous he is, how we can tie him to anything we want to laugh and cry about.

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